What is the Most Important Thing a Child Should Learn?
"If you could wake up in the morning with the power to teach one thing to all of the children of the world, what would it be?" (Lantieri, p.11) Would it be science? Math? History? Or would it be something more elusive like goodness? Integrity? Selflessness? As parents, grandparents, and everyone involved in educating children, we realize the importance of this question; and we recognize that the answer has a serious impact on our children and our future.
A survey distributed by the Institute for Global Ethics asked a similar question and, as you might imagine, academic subjects and skills were not their primary concern. Rather, 272 respondents identified five universal values: “compassion, honesty, fairness, responsibility, and respect.” (Lantieri, p. 11) When the American Association of School Administrators polled fifty educators, asking them “What would children need to know and be able to do to and what behaviors would they need to thrive” during the 21st century, they included civility and ethical behavior along with math and science. (Lantieri, p.11)
There seems to be a consensus then, that in this global society where access to information is immediate, our children need more than a firm grasp of academics to live a life of purpose and meaning. They need ethical and spiritual values to guide them as they sort through this mass of information and make meaning of the world and their place in it. They need to be able to identify for themselves what is right and true and to have the courage to act on that knowledge, even when no one is watching.
Schools know how to teach reading, writing, and arithmetic. Textbooks are filled with skill-based lessons and homework is often consumed with practicing and mastering them. We use maps, charts, graphs, and other manipulatives to reinforce what educators and legislators have determined to be the key components to becoming productive citizens. This is done five days a week for about 10 months of every year for a minimum of 13 years, if not more. Schools do a good job of this and the result is that children do learn to read, write, and do math.
This has been the primary role of schools. But when we turn on the news, pick up the newspaper and read the headlines, surf the web, or listen to the conversations around us, it becomes clear that something is missing in our notion of what it takes to become an educated person. All of the book learning in the world will not make us seek to do what is good and right. All of the A’s on all of the tests will not help us have compassion.
We need to do more to prepare our children to become thoughtful, considerate decision makers who have a spiritual center that allows them to look past self-interest to include the needs and interests of others. Because if we don’t, we are short-changing them and denying them a life rich with meaning and purpose. This, then, is the question facing educators and parents alike: How do we teach compassion, honesty, fairness, responsibility, and respect? How do we test and measure a child’s ability to identify and act on what is right and true?
I would like to suggest that we cannot teach values. We can talk about them, describe them, give examples of them, read books about people making wise and poor decisions, but we are only hypothesizing. What we can do is live them, model them, and focus our children’s awareness on them. We can show our connection to others through our service to them. Studies have shown that our children are more apt to follow what we do, not what we say. If they see us pause to consider our choices and reflect on the outcome, then they will witness for themselves the decision making process.
We can all help our children learn compassion every time we dry a tear, give a hug, and show we care; they will learn honesty when we are truthful with them; they will learn fairness when the consequence fits the deed; they will learn responsibility when we say “no” to a self-centered request, and “yes” to a project that serves others; and they will learn respect for themselves and others when we listen to their thoughts, opinions, and ideas, and actively engage in their lives.
Schools must step up and accept this challenge. I believe we are doing that here at Saint Mark’s by honoring and valuing all cultures. We begin each day with a chapel service that is inclusive of all and exclusive of none. We form partnerships across grade levels to participate in spirit circles, and we have buddies who help and encourage us to learn. We regularly participate in many different charities addressing the needs of others. We particularly support our sister school St. Andre’s in Haiti. We laugh together and we cry together. Many times when a family is facing a crisis, they tell us that this is the place where their children need to be to feel safe, loved, and supported.
We must stay committed to these ideals and since actions really do speak louder than words, we must take the lead in our little section of the world. As others see the results of doing what is right and good, they will catch the spirit.
By modeling and valuing what is good and right, our children will develop a spiritual center that will guide them. And we will know they have passed the test when we see them honoring and living a life a spirit filled life.
(Inspiration and statistical data found in Schools with Spirit: Nurturing the Inner Lives of Children and Teachers by Linda Lantieri.)
(Inspiration and statistical data found in Schools with Spirit: Nurturing the Inner Lives of Children and Teachers by Linda Lantieri.)
Brenda Hallock
Head of School
Homily for Evensong to Open School
September 26, 2008
